My obligatory I can now shop at a department store story

I have a wedding this Sunday, a wedding (in Mexico City) at the end of October, and then my beautiful cousin Cassie's wedding in March. But this isn't about weddings. It's about shopping.

Tonight on my way home I thought I should try to see if Bloomingdale's had a dress I could maybe possibly wear. I know they only go up to 22's and I haven't fit into a 22 in a while. Like maybe 10th grade. While I was talking to mom on the cell, I gathered the dresses and Tatiana took them into the changing room. Yes, I was that girl on the phone talking to her mom who was just being so damn cute, I couldn't not talk to her-- while the Russian sales woman is setting up the room. I am totally a queen.

Also realize, it is "the" Bloomie's in NYC, and I work down the street from it. Which means most of the workers are career salespeople. They known their job well, it's a craft. And at 8pm they are not chasing you out of the store, or flicking on and off the lights, they are helping you decide on your purchases very nicely and efficiently.

But at Christmas-- a whole different story.

Tried the first one on. It fit. And so on and so on. All the dresses fit. Some were a little too big, some were a little too small. I looked great in them. I switched one to a 20, and it still looked great.

But then my mind starts playing tricks-- "Oh they all have stretch in them, that's why you can wear them-- they are not true sizes-- they make the 22's the biggest to compensate for the big rich ladies who don't want to admit that they are plus sized and shop at (god forbid) the LB."

And I told my mind to go sit in a corner and play with the evil gas bubble that has been terrorizing me for days.

Victory. I can shop at Bloomingdales. I, however, cannot afford to buy there.

Did I get any dresses? No. I know exactly what I am wearing to this wedding-- a nice 50's party dress with the bolero from Torrid I got in July. It still looks great, I can curly up my hair, and dance in my new silver ballet shoes from the LB. And I didn't have to spend a dime for the really really happy victory of "I can shop at a department store."

Soon, I will go back and purchase the black cocktail dress when it is on sale, and I have a coupon. And I'll slip a $20 to Tatiana for helping me find it months ago.

My obligatory I can now shop at a department store story. FU to those that sideline this victory. I've been trying for years to make LB, AVE and Catherine's work for me-- and doing a good job. Now, more options-- which is why the surgery was done in the first place-- more options..... the first one being to live.

I'm living. With evil gas bubble, but living.