Completing April

Tonight I am headed to a friend's house to complete April. To kiss it goodbye. More updates on that later-- I wonder what I will get out of it.

Over the weekend I had what I consider to be a cathartic experience. I have been exhausted for so long, I was in NC and then I wasn't. I disappointed my family by leaving early, but I can't live my life for them. I have to do for me. It's upsetting because I only get there every now and again, but it was the best thing for me to do. I woke up in my own bed relaxed, I made good food I can eat, I went for a really long walk and saw a stupid movie.

I am still tired, but I am not so tired I want to cry all the time. I feel like I am doing okay as I prepare for the next trip. This one will be as difficult, but also twice as fun because it includes so many of my favorite people. And then back to NYC to sit and rest for a long while.

I woke up thinking about this: I will no longer be emotionally manipulated by the agendas of others. Tis true. No more manipulation. No more agendas. This is what you get. My mom really wanted me to stay. My aunt was disappointed in my leaving. My pop understood. I just can't suck it up anymore to make someone else happy. Me first. With no apologies.