I went to therapy last night. Just prior I thought it was a very good idea to get some protein in me, so I ate peanuts and m7m's. My own version of trail mix. After 2 handfuls and careful chewing, I got that pressure in my breastbone that is indicative of "I am going to have to puke".
Went to the not quite public bathroom and retched for 30 mins. Stuck my finger down my throat and had this foamy goop come up tasting of peanuts and sweet. As a WLS patient, you don't really throw up like before with amounts of puke-- you are like a cat that has a furball. And nothing feels better than when that crap that is causing the pressure is out.
So, this is time #2 of having regular sugar mixed with protein that had me get sick sick sick. Folks, the pouch is working. It is working. Sugar be gone. It feels terrible to know that I did this to myself, but awesome to say-- that's okay. It's working. Now stop testing the waters and eat in a way that will have you take care of yourself.
I've been writing down all that I have been eating for the week. And I am at about 2100 calories per day. And this was a good exercise to know a couple things. 1) I eat every 2 hours. Not that I am hungry, but that's what I do. Graze. A piece of cheese, a banana, multigrain chips, oatmeal, protein drink, sugar free chocolate bites, half a sandwich, pb and apple. 2) I don't drink enough water, and when I do, it's about 30 mins after the last graze. 3) I drink about 3 cups of coffee a day without even noticing it. 4) I cannot eat 2100 cals a day and think I am going to lose weight.
Project for the weekend and into the week: Eat 3 meals, 1-2 snacks. Keep writing it down. No bites, no tastes. In the "I'm hungry" phase between meals, drink water. Cut the coffee to 1 cup and after the morning cup, tea.
Sunday: Begin 2 week exercise program of 30 mins a day. 3 days Wii, 4 days gym. At the gym, do cardio AND weights. Start working on those muscles. Take one class. Just one.
And then let's write every day. Tell you, my friends how it is going. And then keep on me. If you haven't heard from me in a day, ping me "where are you?".
I know myself well enough to know I cannot be accountable to me. But to you, I bet I can.
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4 comments:
If you want to write me or call me, Kim, I am right there. It is your choice. If talking to someone else is more comfortable for you, then please seek them out!
I put you in my Google Reader so I will see if you write every day. Maybe don't talk to me at all. Maybe just remember that I am looking for your news each day and I am hoping you are finding your place! I started a blog again. I need the outlet. Same old place!
Good luck Kim. It's hard work.
I just came across your blog, and I have to ask... You mentioned the coffee. My transfer addiction has been coffee, I suppose. I know that I drink too much of it, and you sound as if you may have similar concerns. Have you noticed this taking a tool on your body?
My fear - is that I've become too thin... and I fear that it might be the coffee that is partially attributing to this. Just an idea...
Nice to meet you, I like your site.
How did the weekend go? Just keeping you accountable as you've asked :) I'm nine months out RNY and have been having some grazing/snacking issues and can totally relate. After losing 130 pounds (from a high of 337 on surgery day) I'm at a virtual standstill fluctuating 2-3 pounds. When I return to protein first, exercise, water, water, water I lose again so I know I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to getting the rest of this weight off. Keep going and keep writing!
Stephanie
London
Congrats on taking the step to see how many calories you're having in a day. I know we're told not to worry about the calories so much and focus on protein, but damn it, once you are far enough out you have to!
I joined Weight Watchers again for the accountability factor, and that I'm within 15-20 lbs of my ultimate goal. The points I'm allowed are equivalent to about 1200 cals a day, which is probably perfect for me!
Good luck! :)
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