Co-dependent

Co-dependent:

Compliance Patterns:

• I compromise my personal values and integrity to avoid rejection or other’s anger.
• I am loyal to the point of remaining in situations that are bad for me far longer than I should.
• I routinely put my needs aside to meet those of others, even when I am not invested in the lives of those other people and I know that would not do the same for me.
• I never say “no” even when saying “yes” will significantly and negatively affect me.

Denial Patterns:

• I suppress my feelings, especially frustration, only to explode later in anger.
• I am often unsure of what I am feeling, what I want, and defer to others to tell me or decide for me.
• I perceive myself as completely unselfish and present myself to others as willing to do anything with a gracious smile.

Control Patterns:

• I attempt to convince others of what they “should” think or decode what they “truly” feel and inform them.
• I feel that the behavior and appearance of my loved ones is a direct reflection of me.
• I have to be “needed” in order to feel good about my relationships.
• I freely offer advice or directions without being asked.
• I lavish gifts, favors, or sex on people I care about to gain approval and love.

Self-Effacing Patterns:

• I judge most things I think, say, or do harshly and often feel I am never good enough
• I value other’s approval of my thinking, behavior, or feelings more than my own
• My best feelings stem from receiving approval from others or being liked
• I do not think of myself as lovable or worth someone else’s effort.
• I accept sex when I want love.

I read the above and thought-- wow, that's me. Wow wow wow-- especially the smiling graciously thing. And the gifts thing and the receiving approval thing, and well, the everything.

I just wanted to share.