Goodbye 100

I've lost 100 pounds from my highest recorded weight (which was slightly after the garden birthday party/mid-west trip of cheese and fried-- July 1, 2007).

Holy crap.

There are things to notice, and things not to notice.

Things to notice--I notice I am more confident and not as wallowy as I was before. I notice that weekends on the couch don't happen as often. I am going to the gym, and actually enjoying it. I walk up the escalators from the subway. I say what's on my mind a heck of a lot more. I have made and re-made some new friends, but I keep the closest ones to me with all my might. I can eat more than I thought I would be able to, but my eyes are still ginormous compared to my tummy. The clothes are now a fun thing to complain about (I really have 2 pairs of pants, 1 suit and 1 pair of jeans plus workout wear). I am working through anger, sadness, upset in ways that are healthy.

Things not to notice--
When I get sad, angry or frustrated, my go to is food, but now it gets noticed. I am less stressed at work. Not everyone has to like me. Friends make judgements-- life is a comparison. I sleep for longer and for better. I think I am addicted to turkey meatballs and Nectar Cappuccino Protein powder. I am gassy. I obsess over bowel movements. I still do the scale dance. Lack of clothes are not a fun thing to heave others hear you complain about. There are people in my life that are pulling away-- I am still me- regardless of the weight. Me-- Just me! I talk alot about surgery and what I can and can't eat-- and well, it's just a part of me, not all of me.

I spend an awful lot of my time not celebrating the victories because I don't want to upset the apple cart, don't want anyone to feel left out, don't want to be too bold. But for Chrissake's I am fucking happy happy happy and I can't wait to tell you all about it.

There. The happy dance.

Back to your regularly scheduled programing of bitchy snarkiness.....