Big Girl on Karma

I have information. That's the business I am in, and I have information on friends, family, and acquaintances. Most times, it's just information, a way to know someone better, to get inside their head, to know what it is to have their life, etc. Sometimes it's good information (birthday's, first boyfriends, the town where they grew up) and sometimes its interesting (the sexcapades of various friends, former lives as a Goth, nerd or baby Christian), and sometimes it could be harmful if it got out based on their lives.

So with this information, what do I do with it? Nothing really, just data stored in a place that could be swept away with one car accident or fall and bump on the head.

Then today, I made a decision. I have an ex that is trying to be a pillar of society, but their past is something left to be desired. A newspaper article from years ago came across my desk, and I reached out to the author. Well, not really. I started to write an email to the author that could bring this person down, just for a good story. Before I hit send, I thought, what could happen? A great story, but someone's (and actually many someone's) lives could be torn apart. The rebuilding effort would be enormous, and they would probably have to answer to the authorities, their reputation tarnished, and havoc would begin for friends, family, business acquaintances, and I may get drawn into it. I don't agree with them trying to be a pillar of society, and think what they are doing is wrong, but had to stop to ask if I was getting even for a wrong they had done me, or if I was generally concerned.

I was trying to right a wrong.

I sat before I hit send, and said out loud, Karma's a bitch, watch out. Then deleted the message. I don't want them to have to go through the havoc I would reek by sending an email. They are truly trying to start over, and I would diminish it just because I can. Because I have power, and am exerting it over them. I don't want to be that person. If I had such a problem with them, I can give it up, let it go, and release it back into the universe, instead of feeding it.

So, Karma's a bitch, and this time I didn't do something that may come back to haunt me. For my sake, for their sake, for all our sakes.

Tough decision, but I think revenge is a bad place to come from this time around. Karma will get you, and instead, I write this nice letter, rip up the article and never think on it again.