Oh, Fudge

I have been lying to myself. I made all this Christmas candy for friends, and have eaten some of it. Like a half of plate of fudge.

I am looking back over the year and thinking what happened. This year I lost just over 30 pounds, which I am super proud of, but it screams not enough. But it's just me doing the screaming. I have gotten down to a size 18 pant and a size 16 dress and a size XL top. And I feel good about my body, the strength of it, it's clean lines and curves that are much less than the curves of yesteryear.

So today is a day to remember why I had surgery in the first place. Because I wanted to feel healthy. I want to be someone who is a role-model, a machine. Who takes on challenges and calls out for help when needed.

Help.

I could make a list of all that I am going to do, but instead I am choosing to do one thing differently. I am only going to eat meals at mealtimes. Plan out my day of eating. I am not longer needing baby step nutrition, I get enough protein, so it's time to re-fuel when I have to. All sugar things have to go.

I am throwing away the goodies. Sorry friends. I love you, but I love me more. Neither of us need this, and if it's in my house one more minute, it'll be a bloodbath.

Merry Christmas.