Mom and I had a long chat on the bus, talking about small victories-- it was so cool having her here for ajust a bit. I love her so much, and she is so awesome.
1) Wearing rings that don't have to be sized especially for me. No more specially made jewelry. Neckalces will fit. Rings will fit. bracelets will fit. I still won't wear any of them, but they will fit.
2) Fitting into cute shoes. I will have to do a whole blog on this alone. I have always felt like the wicked stepsister with my feet that don't fit into anything.
3) Shopping at any store. Any store. Shoes and clothes. Any store. I have never done that. I was in misses right out of 6x. I was always two departments ahead. Mom took me to special stores in 8th grade-- where the clothes did fit. I stopped shopping at Mervyn's sometime in the 9th grade. My graduation gown from HS had to be cut up and sewn in the back. I have always been a huge girl, and each one of those memories, each time I went to the mall with my friends to go shopping, I couldn't. And now I will be able to, not I will get to try on clothes and not feel like I am wasting their time by being in a shop that is too large for them. I know it's a ways off, but it is awesome. That will be so awesome. No longer will I have to be a door guarder for Jennifer House at that terrible store with the communal dressing rooms-- just because I can't fit into anything. Guard your own freaking door, sister.
4) No apologies. I refuse to make someone else feel better by apologizing for my behavior, when I have done nothing wrong. I spent some time doing that this weekend. Now I am just listening to what is right, what is right with me, and what the other person is really trying to say. Sometimes they just want to vent, which is fine, but I don't have to apologize for their feelings.
More to come. Many many more.
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2 comments:
I'm not sure exactly why, but this post made me cry. I think it's because of the little things you mentioned...being able to shop in any store, not cutting the tags out of clothes because you don't want other people to know what size you wear, always being behind the camera so you don't have to be in front of one, etc. The big events in life I usually remember in my head, but it's the small details that I feel deeply in my heart. I love you, Kimmie.
Kim,
You are always in my thoughts. You are pretty much the only true friend I kept from High School. I am proud of your bravery. I'll be here for you whenever you need me.
Much love,
Sabrina
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