What's Going On?

Hi there.

Remember me? Yeah, I'm the loud funny one in the back of the room that's been quiet for a while.

Here's a short update:

1) Plateau. Up and down. Hovering around a 110-120 pound weight loss
2) Beating myself up for it, should be more, should be more.
2a) Pursuant to 2-- Started enjoying way too much of the red vino.
3) Gain of 10 pounds.
4) PANIC.
5) Found and started new contract position paying almost a lot more than last position and make the exact same amount in a week on unemployment as I do in a day.
6) Red Vino, still bad.
7) Oh, quit smoking cold turkey.
8) Lost 9 pounds on Weight Watchers.
9) Still going to WW-- and to be honest, learning how to eat. How to be responsible with my food and track it all.
10) Going back to exercise as stress relief. This is an in progress. I haven't quite figured out a time that will work and so I keep plugging away.
11) Stopped blogging-- no reason. Also stopped Facebooking, emailing, myspacing and any other social media.

So there it is. 2+ years out of surgery and now is when I have to begin to use my pouch as a tool, not a crutch. When I have to make the choices to say yes to things that work for me-- protein-- and no to things that don't -- rice, bottles of wine, etc.

Small changes every day are making a difference. Saying no to the Thursday morning bagel and yes to hard boiled eggs seems to be working. Saying yes to fruit and no to massive amounts of bread feels good. My folks are on WW as well. My pop has lost 35 pounds, my mom has dropped about 20, James has lost 25, and me, well, I've lost 9. I could really beat myself up for it, but that just gets old.

I'm celebrating the victory of being a non-smoker. I'm celebrating the victory of being able to fit into clothes I have had for over two years. And I am celebrating the victory of being on the journey with eyes open. Because I could be committed to the struggle the drama the chaos. But instead, i'll be addicted to the changes to my life.

There is no finish line. Well, unless you count the big giant one in the sky. But even then, no not really.